How to survive the Sinulog

By Leticia U. Suarez

YOU can survive anything if you can survive being packed in a crowd like sardines, and stand dehydration and hunger for six hours.

It is downright an exaggeration of the Sinulog mardi gras for the old hand, but neophytes, heed these suggestions.

* Wear all your fake jewelry; that way you won’t miss them too much when they go away with the snatcher.

But do remember to tape a triple thickness of masking tape around your neck so it doesn’t get nicked – nay, cut off (gulp) – when snatchers run away with your value-baubles.

* Bring food and water like there’s a shortage, or no tomorrow, whichever comes first.

Our enterprising brothers in the sidewalk business jack up consumables by as much as P5. That’s being kind; so you can imagine the mark-up when they go for the jugular.

* Padlock your pants pocket to discourage pickpockets, or better still – wear metal pants.

Now’s the time to bring out that antique armored suit you bought years ago, however, you’ll have to watch yourself. Someone might kidnap you as part of the antique.

* Bring cash, all your cash – all fake or toy bills, that is.

If you don’t have toy money, cut newspaper to the size of a 10-peso bill. Beef up your anemic wallet with the pseudo bills.

Hide your real cash in your shoes (wash shoes the day before) but don’t keep checking or else you will attract attention.